RSD – Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
RSD? What is RSD. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.
By definition, it is the extreme emotional response to perceived criticism or rejection.
Read that again. It is perceived, meaning it is the receiver’s opinion and not necessarily based on facts. RSD is a real thing that people with ADHD live with; just because it is the perceived opinion of the person experiencing it doesn’t make it any less real.
Those of us with ADHD tend to think the negative before giving the positive a chance.
We read into slight behaviors.
To us, a delayed text response means whoever we are trying to talk to isn’t interested in talking to us.
The message left on read means they saw it but don’t want to respond because they don’t like us.
The wave to a friend in public goes ignored because they don’t want to be our friend anymore.
When in fact, none of those things are likely to be true.
The text was left as read because they got busy and intended to respond later, at a more convenient time.
The ignored wave was only because they didn’t see you, because they had their own things going on.
Many perceived brush-offs are likely due to the person being focused on their own life.
In fact, it has been a struggle for me to write this blog. I have been afraid of rejection because I’m not getting shares, likes, or comments. Some think this is just a social media post to get sympathy (and don’t realize there is an entire website at 52tabs.com). But then I get strong and work myself through it and realize it doesn’t really matter about all of that; it will take off or it won’t, simple. Or maybe I haven’t found my target audience yet.
Coping with RSD can be as simple as talking myself through the process (as in the example above) and considering others’ points of view. It can be very challenging.
I have been going through a difficult season lately. When I am struggling with regular emotions, I tend to be extra sensitive to the fear of rejection. I become extremely antisocial. I stay home. I do only what I need to do. Nothing except time, patience, and working through it gets me out of it.
If you have a loved one who is diagnosed or suspected of having ADHD, give them space. Allow them to be their authentic selves and don’t expect them to always be “ok”.
Whether you have ADHD or not, nobody should have to mask themselves
Sometimes we just need someone to sit with us in the silence.
ADHD is more than not being focused or hyperactive behavior. There are many layers that others do not see unless they know what to look for or the person with the diagnosis shares with them.
Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about – Robin Williams